


A million dreams

by Hclxs



Series: The Russian Vodka Murder Family [2]
Category: Black Widow (Movie 2020), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Compliant, Character Death, Childhood, Childhood Trauma, Gen, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Underage Sex, Kid Natasha Romanov, Kid Yelena, Non-Linear Narrative, Post-Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Pre-Iron Man 1, Red Room (Marvel), Teenager Natasha, teen Melina, teenager Yelena
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-06
Updated: 2020-03-06
Packaged: 2021-03-01 02:13:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,426
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23037646
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hclxs/pseuds/Hclxs
Summary: When they were just little girls Natalia would chase away the bad dreams and horrors of the Red Room with stories and good thoughts but never in her dreams did Yelena think Natasha would die.
Relationships: Natasha Romanov & Melina Vostokoff, Natasha Romanov/Melina Vostokoff, Natasha Romanov/T'Challa (Marvel), Yelena Belova & Alexei Shostakov | Alexi Shostakov, Yelena Belova & Melina Vostokoff, Yelena Belova & Natasha Romanov
Series: The Russian Vodka Murder Family [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1625026
Comments: 2
Kudos: 40





	A million dreams

_They can say, they can say it all sounds crazy  
They can say, they can say I've lost my mind  
I don't care, I don't care, if they call me crazy  
We can live in a world that we _ _design_

_A Million Dreams, P!nk_

_yelena stared at natalias hand as she held out a piece of stale bread, they hadn't eaten in four days and some of the older girls stole the bread she had stashed under her pillow because now melina had graduated there was no one else to defend some of the younger ones. but natalia was always nice and good to her and yelena hated her for it, she shared her bread and would go easy on her. she had seen her against the other girls, she was brutal._

_it was no secret that they knew natalia would be the best and yelena wanted to be everything natalia was._

_"i don't want your bread." yelena grabbed her ballet shoes and walked towards the wall before beating them against it.  
_

_natalia grabbed her own shoes and walked upside her, still holding out the bread. "you need it, i know anya took yours."_

_yelena rolled her eyes, smacking the bread out of her hand. "anya is a bitch and i don't need it."_

_after training when yelena woke up on the floor with a broken wrist she secretly regretted not taking the bread but she wasn't going to tell natalia that._

_and three days later an 11 year old natalia broke at 13 year old anyas neck and a ten year old yelena watched._

______

Yelena stood outside her hotel in California when she got a call from Melina, they both turned to dust and Alexei and Natasha survived but Natasha was dead now. Her sister died for a fucking rock to bring everyone back and Yelena never hated her more. 

She went back to her room and turned the TV on, it was all over the news. Millions brought back, Billionaire and Avenger Tony Stark dead, Wakandan Queen and Avenger Natasha Romanoff confirmed deceased by fellow avengers Steve Rogers and Clint Barton. 

A part of her wondered what happened, knowing her sister it was probably something stupid and reckless and for someone else, one of those stupid debts she felt the need to pay off. But she couldn't do anything with her anger besides sit with and watch reporters talk about how missed she'll be even though they never knew her, about how she helped pave the way for superheros and how much of a hero she was and that she'll go down in history. 

Natasha wouldn't have wanted any of that. 

\----

_yelena was six and natalia had just turned seven when alexei came into their lives, he was a few years older than melina and she was nineteen at the time. he quickly developed an attraction towards melina and it was clear she felt the same and natalia and yelena quickly became his favorites out of the girls._

_He had just put her down and natalia was grabbing his arm and was being lifted into the air when melina rushed in, trying to warn them about madame b. coming but it was to late, natalia let out a small giggle and alexei smiled down at her just as she stormed into the room and glared at the four, melina automatically looked away and alexei quickly placed natalia on the ground and kept his arm in front of her. he wasn't stupid, he knew what was coming._

_"melina," madame b. looked at the older sister and nodded towards the exit door. "outside." it was winter and yelena wondered how long she would be out there before she was allowed back in. she looked towards yelena after melina exited the room. "did you have any part of this?" yelena shook her head, hoping she would believe her lie. "natalia, is she lying?"_

_yelena looked at her sister, she would surly tell the truth so she wouldn't be the only one getting punished. natalia eyed her for a short moment. "no, ma'am." she shook her head and stepped out from behind alexeis protective arm._

_he stepped forward. "it wasn't her fault, i was the one who-"_

_madame b. quickly cut him off. :"this is no place for foolishness, love is for children and once you enter the red room you are no longer a child and it seems natalia needs to be reminded of that." she grabbed the redheads wrist and pulled her behind her. "yelena, you will get natalias rations tonight."_ _the girls were sitting on their beds, waiting to be cuffed to it natalia walked into the room barefoot, a split lip and a black eye, she was freezing to the touch and her wrist looked broken._

_she walked towards yelena and looked down at her for a short moment before turning and sitting down her own bed._

_it wasn't ever mentioned again._

_\----_

Eventually Yelena stood up and grabbed her phone and bag, shooting a quick text to Melina that she was headed to Wakanda. No one on the news was saying what happened besides that she sacrificed herself and she needed to know. Or at least know if her sister was alone in her final moments and the thought of her dying alone made her want to puke, she needed to know about a funeral or a memorial, what Natasha did in those five years and she wanted to know stories about Natasha as a wife, a queen and an avenger.

She got in her car and connected her phone to the radio because she couldn't stand to hear anymore news and she thought silence might kill her when Melina responded that she and Alexei would be there. 

They were still family, just one less without Natasha and that made her want to scream and punch things and break everything she could but a small part of her wanted to curl up in a ball and cry but that made it worse because Natasha was't here to kill whoever made her baby sister cry. 

Ironic, it almost made her want to laugh. Natasha would kill whoever made her sisters cry and they would do the same but Natasha was dead and she wanted to cry. 

And Natasha couldn't kill herself for making Yelena cry when Natasha was already dead. 

She slammed her hands against the wheel and started to cry.

\----

 _when natalia was fifteen she burned down the red room and all it's monsters and grabbed yelena by her hand, pulling her behind her as they ran_ _out of the burning building and into the cold spring night, they walked for a couple of miles and the sun had been up for about an hour when yelena thought her sister was calm enough that she if spoke she wouldn't get stabbed. she hadn't been okay since the hospital fire, she had changed and was heading down a path that would get her killed._

_until she burned down all the red room and all it's people. literally._

_"where are we going?"  
_

_natalia said nothing in response so she tried a different question._

_"what are we doing?" she got no response. "talia!" she yelena demanded._

_"getting cake then going to where 'lina and alexei live." she said as if was completely normal, as if they were two normal sisters going to their normal big sisters house where she lived with her normal husband with cake._

_"okay," yelena agreed. "but why are we getting cake?"_

_"it's your birthday." natalia shrugged._

_"i don't know my birthday," she said in confusion. "none of us do."_

_natalia stopped walking and turned to your. "it's just your birthday, okay?" She snapped. "you're fourteen now."_

_"i've never had cake." yelena said after they started walking again._

_"i haven't either."_

_two and a half hours later yelena and natalia sat in the small apartment melina and alexei rented, eating chocolate birthday cake natalia stole from a bakery while alexei and melina watched their first reactions to the sweetness._

_\----_

Yelena sat beside a middle aged women who was on her way to Africa because her sister came back and she hadn't seen her in years. 

"Where are you head?" The women asked. 

Yelena knew she was only trying to be polite and friendly but she didn't want it, to women gained back the one thing Yelena never could. "Wakanda." She hoped it would be the end of it. 

It wasn't. "Do you have a husband or wife there?"

She sighed and glanced out the window. "My sisters husband, he came back."

"What happened to her?" 

Yelena didn't know why she expected the women to know, it wasn't like they were blood related and Natasha liked to keep her secrets locked away. "She died for a magic rock" She kept her eyes focused outside and heard the women mutter something to herself but she didn't say anything else the rest of the ride.

\----

_when she had sex for the first time she was eight and she spent the night crying because it hurt, it was scary and while she knew it happened to all the girls it was wrong. at point in the night natalia came back in the room with messy hair, a split lip and a bruised cheek. they didn't cuff her to the bed, must have forgot but she would probably do it herself so she wouldn't get in trouble in the morning. what she didn't expect was for natalia to crawl into bed with her and wipe her tears._

_"i'll get us out of here one day." she whispered after a few minutes._

_"don't be stupid, talia." yelena rolled her eyes. "we'll be here until we die."_

_"i'll get us out and we'll leave russia," she continued. "and we'll live somewhere nice and celebrate holidays and our birthday. we'll live in new york city with melina and alexei in a nice apartment and alexei will have a dog."_

_"it has to be chocolate cake." yelena whispered back._

_"you'll have chocolate cake every year for your birthday," natalia agreed. "we'll make our own place in the world. me, you, 'lina and alexei, we'll be a family."_

_that night yelena dreamed of their future and their family whenever there was a bad day natalia always reminded her of it._

______

When she got off the plane she considered finding a ride but she wasn't sure how hard it would be to get into Wakanda or to see T'Challa and she needed to see him, he deserved to know about her sister Talia and she wanted to know about Natasha the wife and queen so she quickly grabbed a sandwich and a water and ate it before exiting the airport. 

She made sure her gun was was to pull out if she needed and pull her headphones out but didn't play as music, people were louder when they thought you weren't listening.

An hour later she got a text from Melina telling her they were getting on a plane.

\----

_natalia came home for two week a year and a half after joining shield, they told them about her partner clint, their handler coulson, nich fury and maria hill. there wasn't much she could tell them about her job expect for the fact that they were safe from the kgb, she had made sure they would be before joining._

_"family takes care of each other." alexei said out loud to no one in particular that night after dinner as natalia (now natasha) handed out slices of red velvet cake for what they decided was melinas birthday._

_alexei liked carrot cake and natalia liked that weird funfetti cake because she was a damn child sometimes. melina liked to make fun of her for it but melina really liked gummy bears so what could she say._

_later that night when alexei was in the living room she walked into the room natalia was staying in to find her sisters kissing and touching, she didn't mention it but she was pretty sure they knew what she saw and alexei later told it was goodbye sex and that he was okay with it._

_almost three years later they each received a letter from natasha asking how things were and that she had gotten married._

_\----_

"I wondered when you would show up." T'Challa said from behind her, starting her but she didn't show it. As soon as she enter Wakanda she was brought to a room only being told T'Challa would be there shortly. "Melina and Alexei are on their way."

Yelena nodded. "There are somethings I wanted to know."

"There will be a funeral here, a public memorial in New York and Clint is planning a private one two days after Tonys." He quickly explained.

She nodded again. "Thank you but I wanted to know other things," Yelena paused, trying to gather her thoughts. "I want to know my sister as wife, queen and hero, I never got to see those parts. I can tell you things about my sister, Talia. When we were little girls she would chase away the bad dreams with stories about the future and good things." Once she started speaking she couldn't stop telling him about how she kept her safe, about Alexei lifting them, about the story of their future in New York and the chocolate cake and anything else she could think of.

After a few moments of silence T'Challa finally spoke. "Natasha didn't open up to many people but when she loved she loved big and with everything she had, the only thing that gives me some comfort right now is knowing when she died she was loved."

"They used to tell us love is for children." But he probably knew that. "But she burned it all down for family, got a best friend, became a big damn hero, married a king and died for the people she loved." Yelena let out a humorless laugh. "That's probably the biggest fuck you to the red room anyone could give.

\----

_"what will we be?" yelena whispered, trying not to fall asleep as natalia told her the story about new york, their family and chocolate cake._

_"we'll be heroes."_

\----

' _Cause every night, I lie in bed_  
_The brightest colors fill my head_  
_A million dreams are keeping me awake_  
_I think of what the world could be_  
_A vision of the one I see_  
_A million dreams is all it's gonna take_  
_Oh, a million dreams for the world we're gonna make_

**Author's Note:**

> Song and lyrics come from A million dreams by P!nk


End file.
